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Intro - becoming Tasmin

My journey started 10 years ago. At that time I was happily married. It was not the cause of my breakup. That was for other reasons that I will not go into here.
Growing up I was never like other boys. I was small and ginger haired and pale skinned with no body shape at all. I was crap at sport and hated it. I was always excused from age 12 and was embarrassed to shower with other boys. Watching other guys shower made me uneasy and they picked on my for my tiny cock. Yes I was small below and everyone noticed. Less so these days thankfully.

My first glimpse of a naked girl had been at age 11 and he had wanted me to touch her. Why would I want to touch where a girl peed from, Yuck! I thought. The next time I was 12 and myself and my best friend where talking about girls. We used to do this thing where you wrapped your arms tightly around yourself and pretended to kiss a girl. He did it and then said he wanted to know what it was like to kiss a girl. He grabbed me and kissed me, within seconds his hand was down my pants and he put mine down his. I was shocked, it did not feel particularly sexual at that age and I did not feel 'gay' which was just as well at school. I guess I was first curious about guys from the age of about 16, I witnesses a class member masturbating in the toilets and he was huge, about 10 inches and uncut which I have had a fixation on ever since. He was talking about what girls would do to him and that felt weird to listen to, but not arousing. I was enjoying watching his long thick foreskin stretch back and forth over his moist dick's head. Then he disappeared into a  cubical at the crucial moment leaving me disappointed. I did have an urge to touch him, after all I had touched another boy before.